Day 28–Moving beyond insecurities

28 days without non hygienic beauty products

In my experience of people, we all deal with insecurities.  Anyone who says they are 100% completely secure is just too insecure to admit that they’re insecure.  So, the issue isn’t whether or not we have insecurities.  The issue is how much power we give to our insecurities and how much we use God’s power to live beyond our insecurities.

Yesterday I mentioned 3 places in my life where I deal with insecurities.  If I didn’t work hard to move beyond these insecurities I would be paralyzed with fear in my relationship with Addison, my job and how I look every time I step outside.  In order to overcome the insecurities I face in my relationship with Addison, I do a couple of things.  I sit down with her (almost) every night, give her my full attention, rub her back, and talk with her openly about her day and my day.  I also work hard to affirm her freedom and independence, and to set her up for success in situations where I am not physically present.  I schedule times for us to be alone, without brothers or daddy around and I design activities and unstructured time where we don’t have an agenda.  This is all hard for me.  I do it anyways.

As I think about my calling as a pastor, I realized long ago that God didn’t call me according to my abilities.  God called me because I have the gifts and graces for ministry.  Gifts and graces aren’t about my abilities or goodness….gifts and graces are about God’s abilities to work through me to minister to others.  Sometimes I work hard to get in God’s way.  Those are the times I step back, re-imagine my purpose, and become focused in a new direction towards God, not myself. Remembering this is extraordinarily helpful when I think I have to do it all by myself.  Still, this is hard for me.  I do it anyways.

Finally, addressing the insecurities I have regarding my body, I long to imagine a day when I’ll be free from this particular insecurity.  This is nearly impossible for me sometimes.  However, giving up makeup for Lent has certainly forced me to deal with some of my insecurities about my face.  🙂  When I think of my body, I have designed a new language for myself.  100% of this began because I didn’t want my kids growing up obsessing about their body.  When the kids were old enough to understand this, I began to focus my energies and language on being healthy.  This means I run to stay healthy, not skinny.  It means I make good food choices and count Weight Watchers points to be strong and nutrient rich, not thin.  I compete in events to keep me motivate and because they’re fun, not because I’m competitive and want to win (also because I’m definitely not fast enough to win anything…and that’s ok).  When I focus on having a healthy body, a healthy non-obsessed secure mind and spirit comes along as an added benefit.

I think as a  part of our humanity there will always be places in our lives where we are insecure.  Name those places.  Take away their power.  If there is something to be done to address these insecurities, do it!  Talk to a friend. Live beyond.  Do not be paralyzed.  Invite God to do for you what you can not do for yourself.  By the way, the Beth Moore book I mentioned yesterday is next in my line of books to read.


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