Day 26–The construction’s not complete without makeup

Still living life without non-hygienic beauty products

In yesterday’s blog I referenced Cameron Russell, Victoria’s Secret model.  One of the things she said is that all of her pictures are re-touched.  But even more than that, what we see in print and I’m sure on the runway is a construction of pre-production, lighting, makeup, clothing, hair artists, post-production and more.  This is a helpful thought when looking at that catalog that shows up in my mailbox without warning.  But what about me?  My photos aren’t re-touched.  Right now I don’t even have the touch of a stick of concealer at my disposal to cover the giant zit that keeps growing ever bigger on my chin.  Perhaps though, my life is a construction of hair, makeup, endless positivity (even when I don’t feel this way), keeping up appearances, my children’s behavior, my job, my athleticism, my friendships, and more.

The thing that has been most difficult for me since the beginning of Lent is trying to reconcile the construct of my professional appearance on Sundays with my lack of makeup.  I think very carefully about what I wear on Sunday.  I make sure my clothing is modest, that it’s professional,  clean,  doesn’t draw attention to any one part of my body,  is accented with tasteful jewelry, is contemporary and that my shoes are fantastically comfortable.   When I dress for success on Sundays, I genuinely feel like the construct isn’t complete without makeup.   Lipstick is the icing on the cake, so to speak.  The mascara accents my eyes and causes them to look brighter under the sanctuary lights.  Makeup completes the look and without it I’m not as put together as I could be.

I genuinely believe the wonderful people at St. Paul’s who have offered kind words of affirmation through this process.  I believe them when they say I look beautiful without makeup.  I’m even to the point where I can believe it about myself.  (Please note…I can say that I’m beautiful and still long for my appearance to be a little bit different.)  I know I’m beautiful without makeup, but when I’m putting together the construct that is “Angie on Sunday mornings in front of 700 ish people” I long for more.  I long for the look to be complete.   Maybe it’s the same as if I was wearing my running shoes with a nice, wool pencil skirt and oxford shirt.  There would be a deep disharmony between my shoes and my clothing.  This disharmony feels the same to me as professional dress without makeup.  Hmmmmm….this comparison might have just been a light bulb going off in my head.    It’s about time.  🙂

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